Dark Christmas
by Nature9000
Summary: Under stress of having lost his daughter, David turns to an old addiction during his struggle in the first Christmas without Trina. The mixture of alcohol, depression, and anger can be a tremendous detriment to healing, however. Feeling no escape from the prison he is in, David makes a snap decision that could make this his final Christmas in freedom. Tied to Fresh Start.


Dark Christmas

Disclaimer: Don't own Victorious

A/N: This oneshot is tied to "Fresh Start" but is separate from the story. Sort of, it has to be a oneshot because we won't see the scene in the story.

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-FALL ON YOUR KNEES-

The words she spoke weighed heavily on his mind as the whiskey he downed set his throat on fire and lit the bile rising up. No amount of alcohol could drown out the words piercing his mind, stabbing his heart. _"I forgive you, but I can never trust you again."_ David Vega leaned back in his leather office chair. Two lines formed above his brows and scowl lines dented the corners of his mouth.

His heavy eyes fell onto the police badge sitting on his desk before him and his silver handgun rested beside it. His right hand lay on top of it like a paperweight, trembling as his ashen face started to fall.

From the other room he heard Tori singing a Christmas carol, though it wasn't a typical song. It was something with Jade and Cat, _It's Not Christmas Without You_. It was upbeat and cheery, but in his head the words were twisted and somber.

"David?" His muscles tensed as he heard the door creep open. Holly's hands moved onto his shoulders and her arms slid down around his neck. "Sweetie, come out and join us." It was her fault she was gone, and his fault for not standing up to say something.

"I don't feel like it right now, Holly." He tightened his lips and slanted his eyes at the strands of hair on his hand. His only daughter by blood was now with her Uncle and Aunt somewhere in Texas thinking he hated her because he let her stepmother disown her. It wasn't his fault, but why hadn't he said something!

"Wait. Are you drinking!" His eyes rolled upwards as Holly grabbed the empty bottle. "Damn it, David." His face tightened as his index finger began to throb on the metal weapon. He clenched his eyes shut, trying to drown out his nagging wife. "That girl is not worth you becoming an alcoholic!" David flinched at the sound of glass shattering behind him. "The little demon is partying with her other relatives, so forget her, she doesn't even care enough to visit for the holidays."

A growl drifted from his lips as veins began to pop from the surface of his hand and neck. "You're the one that told her not to show her face, Holly. You disowned her, not me!"

Holly shrugged nonchalantly and crossed her arms. "If she really cared, she wouldn't have listened to me." David moved his hand up to his chin, covering it and his mouth as his heart began to pound with rage and adrenaline. This had been going on for years, why had he never seen how oppressive Holly had been _before_ she wound up pushing his only child away. "She treats you just like that first wife of yours and you don't even care!"

His eyes widened and his heart stopped, his stomach clenched and his blood started to boil. Holly stormed out of the room and started to yell at Tori and the friends. David's eyes fell to the broken whiskey bottle at the corner of the office beside his trashcan. The liquid was sinking into the carpet, staining it like blood.

"Sherry was the sweetest woman. I'm the one that screwed that marriage up."

_"Momma, Daddy, why are you fighting?" Asked the small child in the other room. David had a beer in his hand, his shirt was stained and his breath smelled of liquor. Trina's head poked into the room and her eyes gazed at her bickering parents. "Please don't fight. Whatever I did, I'm sorry."_

_ Sherry pulled the beer away from him and threw it in the sink before crouching down to hug her child. "It's not your fault sweetheart," Sherry kissed the girl on the top of her head and gazed lovingly into her eyes. "Go up to your room, mommy and daddy need to have a talk."_

_ "No more fight? No more yell?"_

_ "I won't yell anymore." _

_ "Okay. Love you momma." Sherry hugged her daughter and watched as she scurried off. David bowed his head, disappointed in himself. He was trying to work on his alcoholism, but things had become difficult for him. _

_ Sherry pushed herself up with a heavy sigh and dusted her pants off. "David, I've given you chance after chance to stop your drinking." His heart broke as Sherry turned to him. She told him once that if he didn't cut the drinking, she was going to take Trina and leave. He deserved it, but he didn't want that to happen. "Why do you drink so much? Is it because of your job? If it is, maybe you're not cut out for being a cop…if you can't get your emotions and mental state in check, you shouldn't be a police officer."_

_ "Sherry, I'm trying my best." _

_ "Obviously it's not enough." Sherry moved her hands to her waist and moved up to him, gazing into his eyes with a mournful glance. "I've supported your habit since before we had Trina, but I can't keep doing this. I'm tired of the fighting, tired of you stumbling home drunk every night, tired of our daughter seeing her father as a drunkard. If you won't stop drinking for me, stop for her!"_

_ His lips parted slowly and he turned away. "Maybe you're right, maybe I'm not cut out to be an officer, but it's all I want to do." Drinking was a habit that formed when he first started working the case. Seeing all the crime, all the death and some of the most depraved acts of mankind always weighed heavily on him. Alcohol was his way of escaping, of forgetting. _

_ "You need to stop before it becomes worse. Before you hurt somebody. If you don't, I'm taking Trina and we're leaving."_

_ "Sherry."_

_ "This is your last chance." She turned away and he started to grow frustrated with her lack of letting him talk. The alcohol in him had truly affected his mind. Before she walked out the door, he grabbed her wrist without thinking and clamped his hand tightly around it. She flinched and spun around to him, her eyes widening as she let out a pained grunt. "David!" He flinched and released his hold and she narrowed her eyes. _

_ "I'm sorry, I didn't mean-"_

_ "That's it. You're already there."_

_ "No, no it's not that, I just-"_

_ "We're gone, David. I love you, but if this is the way you're going to start being, I can't trust you not to get worse…"_

David winced and moved his hand to his forehead, sliding it down over his eyes. His body trembled as the smell of whiskey lingered in his nostrils. When Sherry left with Trina, when she filed for divorce, he gave up drinking once and for all.

Like Trina just recently, Sherry gave him the same cryptic words. _"I forgive you, but I can never trust you again."_ It was a sobering message that truly made him cut off the source of all his problems the last time.

Now Holly's obsessive and controlling attitude made him pick up the bottle again, and once again he lost the most important person in his life. This time, alcohol wasn't his problem.

"I'm not cut out to be a police officer," he muttered before pushing himself out of the chair. David slowly pushed his gun into the right pocket of his gun and reached for the badge, hovering his hand over the badge.

In the background, he heard Holly screaming into the phone. His brow furrowed and he stepped out of the office. Holly was standing beside the Christmas tree in the corner and stepping onto the fake snow that spread out from beneath.

To his dismay, the profanities she was screaming into the phone was at Trina. She was telling Trina how screwed up she was for turning David into the wreck that he was. His hands clenched at his sides and his eyes narrowed. He turned his head to the couch, Tori and her friends were gone.

"Where did Tori go?" Holly threw her phone onto the couch and put her hands to her waist.

"I sent her away with her friends, I don't want her to see you drunk." David slowly looked at her, unable to see her in the same way that he saw her so many times in the past. His head started to pound and his stomach rumbled. "You know what? Trina's got my phone blocked! I got her voicemail, but I don't think she's even going to get it."

"Good."

Holly jerked her head back and closed her eyes, speaking slowly and with offense. "Excuse me? What?" His eyes burned into hers and his voice became laced with venom.

"All you've done is push my daughter away from me, Holly. It's _your_ fault she's gone."

Holly put her hand to her chest and scoffed. "I am the one that is trying to defend you to her! She needs to be put in her place." Why did it take him becoming close to being drunk for him to see her how she was? Why did it take Trina's leaving for him to see Holly and Tori as the manipulative liars they were.

"You pushed her, you stole her. She's gone thanks to you." His voice started to rise. The radio behind him irritated him with Bing Crosby's rendition of _I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas. _He moved his hand up to his forehead and growled at the violent and incessant pounding. "I may never see my child again because you wanted to drive her away."

"Oh please stop accusing me. Your daughter was selfish! She should be more like Tori." He raised an eyebrow and pulled his hand an inch away from his face. "Tori's a good girl. She does what's asked of her, she never argues or talks back, and she makes perfect grades."

"Trina is just as good!"

"Oh please!" Holly walked past him, patting his shoulder and smirking at him. "The only thing she's good at is spreading her legs for that boyfriend of hers back in Texas." He flinched, freezing up as Holly continued towards the couch. His right hand fell down beside his jean pocket and his face started to twitch while his hand clenched.

The radio played out _Silver Bells_, furthering the nonstop pounding in his head. The music reminded him just how alone he was this year. When she grew up, Trina would always join her mom and dad in singing Christmas carols and spending various traditions with the family. Even as a teenager, David would be able to occasionally entice his daughter to sing at least one song with him.

"Stop."

"Stop what, David?"

"Stop being a bitch to my daughter." He tried to remain calm, but it was becoming harder to push down the violent urge inside him. "Stop talking shit about my daughter."

"Oh I'm not, she talks shit about us to those friends of hers and that family of the bitch ex-wife of yours." He closed his eyes and began to tense his muscles. "It is your daughter that's the bitch."

He cracked his neck to the right and breathed in slowly as _The First Noel_ began to play. The Mormon Tabernacle Choir was belting it out, making it loud and deep. A memory of Trina performing it as a girl in her mom's church choir flashed before him and he tried to keep that in mind so he could relax.

_"Fucking demon."_ The radio that was playing was actually that of a CD that he'd burned old songs onto many years ago. He knew the CD by heart and was well aware that the very next song was one that Trina had done in church as a girl, something many people did not realize who the young girl was. She was singing _O Holy Night_, and it was one of David's proudest moments.

He turned around to see Holly staring at the radio, her eyes narrow and filled with hate.

_O Holy night, the stars are brightly shining. It is the night of our dear Savior's birth. Long lay the world in sin and error pining. 'Til he appeared and the soul felt its worth…_

"My daughter is an angel," David growled. Holly scoffed and tilted her head up. David's nostrils flared and the corner of his lip twitched.

"An angel that doesn't give a shit about her father."

"Because of you!" He snapped and reached forward, grabbing Holly by the back of her hair. Her hands flew up to his and she let out a violent scream as he yanked her back and threw her into the Christmas tree.

"David!" A violent sneer stretched across his face as he pulled his gun from the pocket. Her eyes enlarged and she threw her hands up, screaming as he fired multiple rounds into her chest and waist.

_Fall on your knees!_

Holly put her hand to her waist and slowly dropped to her knees, gasping for air as blood spilled out onto the ground. David took a deep breath, flaring his nostrils and stretching his arm out towards the woman. "W-What are you doing?" She began to tremble, gazing up at him with fearful eyes.

"Don't you ever-"

"Please-call for help. David, please! I'm bleeding!"

"-call my daughter a bitch. Whore." Her fingers and hands trembled on the ground and she reached for the fallen Christmas Tree as though she were going to try to hide. "Look at me!" He roared out and Holly snapped her blood drenched face towards him, whimpering as he aimed the nozzle of his gun at her. "Sherry was a much better wife than you could _ever _be." He wanted to twist the knife, he wanted her to feel the pain that she inflicted into him and his daughter all these years.

"Please, David, please…don't do this!" Holly moved her hands to her face, weeping softly. "I don't understand why…why are you doing this!"

He cracked his neck to the right as the next song on the CD began to play. It was Tori, singing _Let it Snow_. In his rage, he snapped the gun to the radio and fired a shot. Holly screamed and put her hands over her head. "Oh god!"

"I'm sorry, God's given up on us. He gave up the moment I allowed you to push my daughter away." He pointed the gun for her and pulled the hammer back slowly. Holly watched with a violent whimper and clenched her eyes.

"I only said what was true! Your daughter hates us, she's no good!"

"Fuck. You."

"Dav-!" His finger became heavy on the trigger and smoke flew into his nostrils as a shot rang out. His wife collapsed on the floor and blood began to pool around her body, mixing into the white snow and green tree.

It was over now, the source of his problem cut off. He knew what he'd just done, and he knew he should care, but part of him didn't. "I'm glad Tori isn't here right now…" He didn't want Tori to have witnessed this, but then, he might have turned the weapon onto her if she had been there.

Pressing his lips together he dropped the gun beside Holly's body and slowly walked into his office. He fell into the chair and studied the badge on his desk. _Not cut out to be a cop as long as your emotions and mental state aren't in check_. Maybe Sherry had been right. He'd gone through shit for years, though he didn't want to justify murder.

The minute Trina left, he knew his world was over. His entire life was a prison, and he was a man with nothing left to lose.

Slowly he removed his phone and dialed Tori's number. His voice trembled when she picked up the phone and he struggled to maintain his calm while his tears ran down over his cheeks. "Tori."

"Hey Dad! Has mom quieted down yet?"

"I…" He looked out the door and stared at Holly's body. All he felt was emptiness and nothing more. His face was blank and without expression, and his body exhausted. "She's quiet. Where are you right now?"

"At Jade's with everyone else."

"Hi Mr. Vega!" Jade called out. "You're on speaker."

"Oh. Jade?"

"Yeah?"

"Tell Trina, I love her, and I'm sorry." There was a pause, followed by Tori asking if something was wrong. He shook his head and dropped his eyes to the badge. "Tori, stay there the rest of the day, okay? There's been a fight…you should just stay there for now."

Tori let out an unsure mutter. "Okay, David." He hung up the phone and stared at it for a long time. With a heavy heart, he dialed the number to his supervisor at work. He knew exactly what was to come, but he never thought he would be on the side of it that he was now.

His supervisor answered and David waited for several seconds, contemplating his next words. "David, can I help you?"

"I think you need to come over sir." His eyes drifted to the stain on the floor beside the whiskey bottle. His heart clenched as the bile rose up his throat. "This is my retirement."

"Retirement? What the hell are you talking about? You're in line for a promotion."

"I don't think I'm going to be getting that." He turned his eyes towards Holly's body and gripped his armchair tightly. After a long pause, his boss's voice became deep and stern.

"David. There's a dispatch call for your street. The neighbor reports hearing shots fired. You wouldn't happen to know anything?"

His heart broke and he hunched forward, moving his hands over his eyes. "Yes sir." He didn't cry for what he had done. Holly did nothing to deserve his tears. These were for his daughter. If there had been any doubt that he might not see her again, that doubt was cast aside. Surely the second she found out what he had done, she would want nothing to do with him. Assuming she ever had expected there to be a true chance to begin with. "I fired the shots."

"David?"

"You'll have to take me in."

"What did you do?" He slid his hand away from his eyes and watched as the blood continued to stain the Christmas Tree. Holly's body was frozen, as though he expected her to jump up and begin shouting profanities at him. He knew he'd go to prison, and he didn't care. This way, Holly couldn't hurt Trina anymore. If it meant going to jail so Holly wouldn't continue to bash and blame Trina, making her life a living hell, then he was fine.

"I killed my wife…"

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I never have done David snapping under pressure, so I thought I would. It's heavy. For those of you that don't understand, it is tied to "Fresh Start at Life".


End file.
